A Mad Hatters Tea Party: Get the Fuck OUT of the Fast Lane!!!!

ALICE:

The sweet poppet who felt confined in this world of politics, arranged marriages and lady like behaviour decided to follow a little white rabbit with a waist coat and accidentally fell down a hole! Well, what people don’t know about Alice is that she is a horny little fuck! And falling into that hole has done nothing but set her free in the land of dreams, where she can gallivant around butt-naked, tits out and hormones racing! Now, in this Wonderland of vodka flowing rivers that glisten like disco balls and topsy-turvey flowers that enchant you with their smiles, this blonde bomb shell is out to play, and play she will! Although she has the tendency to be horribly vulgar and quite sultry at the same time- she’s a load of fun and will probably get your blood pumping, in all the right places!

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS:

The Queen of Hearts is a bitch. Her title most ironic. The Queen has anything but a heart (nor a brain for that matter). In its place lies a chamber full of hate and anger, pumping rage through her every being, her body feeding off other peoples misery and misfortunes. The Queen of Hearts, unable to see others pain through her own vanity, has no remorse or guilt. She is brutally honest and delivers it as it is. No matter how grotesque or unwanted the news might be. Through all of this, however, the Queen has an attractiveness about her. Like a spell it draws you in. Even with her arrogance, vulgarity, and plain right rudeness, one cannot help but to like her. Slowly you get sucked in and before you know it you too are one of her cards, her minions, laughing at her insults and joining in the name-game. Her hilarious outlook on life and inability to hold back on anything draws you to the dark side in one swift swing of the club

Tuesday, April 6

Get the Fuck OUT of the Fast Lane!!!!

Dear mother of god, now this is something I feel very strongly about. If the speed limit is 120km/h, and you’re driving 116km/h or less.... GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE FAST LANE!!! Please tell me what the fuck is going through your head as you take a Sunday drive down the highway while everyone else is revving up your ass and over taking you in the slow lane!?! I just don’t understand.

Maybe you’re retarded? But then why the hell are you driving! Maybe you didn’t see the sign taking us nicely from a limit of 100 to 120? Well then pay attention bitch and stop smsing! Or maybe you’re just an arrogant asshole who cant face the fact that you have a shit job and therefore a shit car, therefore not being able to reach higher speeds but you stil remain too fucking proud to pull over? Hmm.. I think that's it... Well heres some motivation to change your habits. Next time I come up behind you and your lack of acceleration and pride cause me to slow down, you might find my car so far up your asshole you wont be able to shit for a week. Thats if i don’t put a bullet through your head first.

Alice xxx