A Mad Hatters Tea Party: Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting!

ALICE:

The sweet poppet who felt confined in this world of politics, arranged marriages and lady like behaviour decided to follow a little white rabbit with a waist coat and accidentally fell down a hole! Well, what people don’t know about Alice is that she is a horny little fuck! And falling into that hole has done nothing but set her free in the land of dreams, where she can gallivant around butt-naked, tits out and hormones racing! Now, in this Wonderland of vodka flowing rivers that glisten like disco balls and topsy-turvey flowers that enchant you with their smiles, this blonde bomb shell is out to play, and play she will! Although she has the tendency to be horribly vulgar and quite sultry at the same time- she’s a load of fun and will probably get your blood pumping, in all the right places!

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS:

The Queen of Hearts is a bitch. Her title most ironic. The Queen has anything but a heart (nor a brain for that matter). In its place lies a chamber full of hate and anger, pumping rage through her every being, her body feeding off other peoples misery and misfortunes. The Queen of Hearts, unable to see others pain through her own vanity, has no remorse or guilt. She is brutally honest and delivers it as it is. No matter how grotesque or unwanted the news might be. Through all of this, however, the Queen has an attractiveness about her. Like a spell it draws you in. Even with her arrogance, vulgarity, and plain right rudeness, one cannot help but to like her. Slowly you get sucked in and before you know it you too are one of her cards, her minions, laughing at her insults and joining in the name-game. Her hilarious outlook on life and inability to hold back on anything draws you to the dark side in one swift swing of the club

Thursday, April 15

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting!

The Queen has been absent for a while now, I do apologise- But not to fear, your favourite blogger is back, with a few interesting tales to tell...

Recently I have been greatly influenced my Alice... I think I'm turning into her, by “her” I mean a lazy, retarded fool who can never miss out on the action, no matter how much work she has, as her priorities in life are utterly fucked. Her moral compass is so bent and twisted, that you would end up slamming your face into the south -pole before finding north. I fear that my moral compass might be getting more and more crooked by the day, which is really bad considering exams start soon.

Last night was a mistake! No matter how you look at it, there is no way in hell that I should have gone out, what with my 4 tests and 3 assignments due next week, and the fact that my bank balance is really shitty. One would think that I should have a text book permanently stapled to my forehead, not shaking my sweet ass in Terrace while getting drinks spilled down my shoes. A fight! Just remembered the fucking fight. Some dumb blonde (as they all are) decided to stir shit with some of my leading ladies, and that was not on! She looked stupid, fucking stupid, her face covered in red paint- as if been mauled by a bear, where only her round, beady eyes shone through, looking around the club, like an Afghanistan terrorist- for her next prey. This racoon came out of no-where. Fists started flying, kicks were dealt and a lil hair pulling too- me not being involved of course, I believe in love and sex, not aggressive outbursts. However, upon hearing about this and spotting the little trouble maker, I was so ready to leave a knuckle imprint in her nose. A song I dig started playing, I got easily distracted, and she was gone. Lucky bitch.

By now every girl was acting like a Jackrussel on heat. All hyperactive, feisty and wanting a hard fuck. As I spin around (while standing still) I noticed that everyone was beefing- so we left. The next part is just a blur filled with Walt Disney songs, a half-naked, drunken Buda and Hermits excessive tea making. This blur was interrupted by a security guard coming to shut us up; apparently we are not allowed to make noise after 4am, who knew?

I have a neighbour across the road that has the pleasure of catching a glimpse of my naked body whenever I run from my room to my shower and I’m happy to say that there are no hard feelings. She was over here, drunk and loving life! Swaying and trying to communicate, I made a promise never to shut my curtains, should I be unclothed. At about 5:00 am people started fading. Random dude left with my Neighbour, Buda left with Jolie’: only to get bounced... wasn’t so bad though, the lucky soul got to spend the rest of the morning listening to sexually frustrated girls talking about raucous, uncontrollable sex- he passed out on our couch.

Now Alice might bring the Hell Hound out of me, but I just got to love that bitch! We passed out at 6am and spent the whole morning spooning, I missed the most important lecture of my year and now I am too hung-over to work and will spend the rest of my day eating and ‘getting off’ to Hank Moody in Californication. Sweet deal.

Queen <3