ALICE:

The sweet poppet who felt confined in this world of politics, arranged marriages and lady like behaviour decided to follow a little white rabbit with a waist coat and accidentally fell down a hole! Well, what people don’t know about Alice is that she is a horny little fuck! And falling into that hole has done nothing but set her free in the land of dreams, where she can gallivant around butt-naked, tits out and hormones racing! Now, in this Wonderland of vodka flowing rivers that glisten like disco balls and topsy-turvey flowers that enchant you with their smiles, this blonde bomb shell is out to play, and play she will! Although she has the tendency to be horribly vulgar and quite sultry at the same time- she’s a load of fun and will probably get your blood pumping, in all the right places!

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS:

The Queen of Hearts is a bitch. Her title most ironic. The Queen has anything but a heart (nor a brain for that matter). In its place lies a chamber full of hate and anger, pumping rage through her every being, her body feeding off other peoples misery and misfortunes. The Queen of Hearts, unable to see others pain through her own vanity, has no remorse or guilt. She is brutally honest and delivers it as it is. No matter how grotesque or unwanted the news might be. Through all of this, however, the Queen has an attractiveness about her. Like a spell it draws you in. Even with her arrogance, vulgarity, and plain right rudeness, one cannot help but to like her. Slowly you get sucked in and before you know it you too are one of her cards, her minions, laughing at her insults and joining in the name-game. Her hilarious outlook on life and inability to hold back on anything draws you to the dark side in one swift swing of the club

THE MAD HATTER:

You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

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Tuesday, March 23

My Night Was Better Than Yours!

While Alice was home shaving her gwat, and the Mad Hatter was taking a wank. I was out in the beautiful city of Cape Town! Walking down the Long Street of legends, I caught myself gazing around and thinking, fuck! I love this city! What with its well preserved, ancient architecture and its bustling friendly locals I can’t help but get a fuzzy feeling in my stomach- probably a withdrawal symptom, I hadn’t had a drink since 3pm so it was time to hit Neighbourhood! After a few shots, a lil bit of lovin’ at a corner table, and making friends with a green-eyed brother named KB... We were ready to get this show on the road and make our way down to the quaint Irish pub “The Dubliner” – live band swinging, drafts flowing, and 50 amazingly, beautiful Argentineans visiting for a rugby tour! I was in heaven, and “jizzing” all over myself.  With beer in hand, cigarette dropping from the corner of my mouth as I try to sing along to “Save Tonight,” I truly felt the Irish fever. After dancing my ass off and getting felt up by a guy wearing a blonde wig, spandex and fake tits (bigger than mine) we decided to call it a night and head home. Before I could make it to my car though, “Cape to Cuba” caught my eye, where I enjoyed their ‘after 1am special on Mojito’s’ *clap, clap*! Surrounded by book shelves, ornaments, and a sculpture of an old man who kept staring at me, the setting was perfect... Perfect for some raunchy behaviour! All the horny feelings that comes with drinking, combined with the heavy petting, soon got too much to handle, so we simply had to race home and put the fire out that was inside me- with his hose!
Great drinks, great music, great people, great sex = great night!
~Queen of Hearts~
Posted by A Mad Hatters Tea Party at 12:15 AM

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