Experience Langabaan, naked.

Fucking test on Friday! Why the hell do universities find it entertaining to hold tests on a Friday night?? I know lecturers have nothing better to do than sit at home and jerk off to Asian child porn, but god dammit, I have way better things to do than sit at a crappy desk and write a two hour long test while watching the clock and swearing at the seconds that seem to go by so fucking slowly. 8pm on a Friday is normally reserved for getting motherless or having sex. I actually think that it literately messed up my internal clock-work. My poor body couldn’t understand why I wasn’t bloated with brandy and coke, stumbling into objects or riding my big boy.

What seemed like 15 years finally went by... then it was off to Langabaan!!!!! After gathering my already drunk boyfriend and making a quick stop at the DJs house, to pick him and his bitch up. I sailed through to the “soutie” equivalent of Hermanus, for Boers at 160km/h and made it to the “Playboy Palace” at 11. WAS SO AMPED TO GET DRUNK... so I did, and fucking quickly... the night proceeded as it usually does, with people getting naked and running around like 8 year olds whom forgot their Ritalin. Before I knew it, I found myself getting involved in a 4 sum. Couple on couple babay! - I blame it on Drosty-Hof semi sweet.

After the boys gave us a show, which included ‘the windmill,’ man-Gina’s and “fruit bowls”, it was the ladies turn to get nasty...Now what one should understand is that multiple sex partners at once is not a common happening for me, so when the idea arose, I was a little shocked..., ok I was so shocked that my eyeballs were starting to lose moisture from being so wide open and my jaw almost clicked out of place as I gasped...

I tried to argue, I tried to leave the room, I TRIED TO DRINK MORE SO THE IDEA WOULD SEEM APPEALING.... but it was just so hard!- and I’m not just talking about the rods on the fellows... I had to sit down and think.... like I even had a fucking chance to do that! Next thing I know, the naked girl is massaging my back, the Pink boy is stroking my thighs and my human dildo is spanking my ass. I was in the middle of a full blown orgy!

Ok you shit! Don’t fall off your damn chairs- it didn’t last long, the eye contact between the boys started getting too much to handle so we decided to call it a night (at 6am Saturday morning) and go back to our own lovely rooms and get down and dirty (couple’s only), which we damn right did. Bliss! Was decently hammered by now so my only guess is that I passed out somewhere in the middle of it... woke up with a smile on my face later that day and made my way to the communal lounge- where I received a *wink* and a “hey, hey” from the chick and the Pink.

The day continued as we made our way to ‘Lagoonfees’ where we scored free V.I.P tickets and again- got fucked. You know how people think they are invincible when they are pissed? Well, we were all pissed- again. So what do we do?? Shoot each other fucked up in a hardcore paintball game!!! (The feeling of the shot does catch up to a person sooner or later) Right about now I was feeling like tough shit ‘Tomb Rader’ with my sexy ‘gas mask’ helmet and hobo overalls. EPIC! We drank more, went on some carnival rides and danced to a few local bands playing in the distance, then made our way back to the Playboy Palace. Still drunk and still Horney... some of the house mates got into a bit of a disagreement: the Pink and the “Wyn- Maaker”- till someone got voted off the island... at this point I pretty much blanked out. I remember tequila, “spring-bokkies” and yet again more naked people. Great success.

Sunday came and alcohol was still dancing around in my system- before leaving, we gambled a bit at Mykonos casino, some lost, some won, some got ‘ge-suip’ in the bar. But all in all FUN!  It was sad to watch the sun set as we drove away from our little drunken paradise, but nothing a Wimpy cheese burger can’t cure. So that was that, another wonderful weekend, I don’t care about the test I had on Friday anymore because as I sit in class on Monday, I imagine my lecturers over masturbated, raw dick and all the different sharp places he can go shove it. I had an awesome time, regardless. 

Queen of <3