The Cult.

The ginger haired Wranger has been part of our society since the beginning of time. If you are one of the luckier people in society who have not yet encountered this creature, let me give you a little description: they often bare the “Wranger mark” of being very pale, pasty skinned. This luminous skin tone that shines in the moonlight is often accompanied by a few hundred freckles that inhabit every nook and cranny of their beastly bodies. Some Wrangers realise that this is unattractive and grotesque, so they use fake tan to hide behind- at least they are considerate and try to protect the eyes of the general population from their bright white flesh. But do not be fooled, they are still Wrangers. Next, you might notice that when stepping into the sun, the Wranger lights up in an orangey –tinted glow, where every single bit of hairy fluff will be exposed as it glistens brightly. Wrangers also have the tendency to be very hairy, so this is a sure way to identify them. Their eye colour is usually a light green, or in some cases very dark, almost black. These types of Wrangers should be especially noted at they are more likely to be the leaders of the cult and are probably possessed by some supernatural life-force. Then we get the most distinctive feature of a Wranger, the intensely, vibrantly, cringer-ginger head hair! As they are in the minority of the worlds population, they can be easily spotted in any crowed. If life wasn’t entertaining enough, God decided to through a spanner in the works and created orange hair, just for shits and gigs.

Now you are probably thinking “uh, but the queen of hearts is a ginger in the movie”- well let me tell you smart ass, this is where me and my factitious character to not relate. I have been blessed with brunette locks that cascade down my back till just beneath my shoulder blades, and I’m proud of it! So don’t try and pull shit out your ass to defend the demons of society. Often though, a Wranger will call themselves “strawberry- blonde” bull shit! There is no such thing! You’re a fucking Ginger! Many of them also decide to dye their hair a different colour, they do this to survive adolescence and make it through the torturous childhood years, where the orange hair colour is at its brightest. Luckily we have other ways of identifying them. Seriously- how many adult Wrangers have you seen? Not many- they start to die off after the age of 23, this is because they dye hair, or they commit suicide from all the torment.


I bet all the Wrangers reading this, if there are any, are getting very angry right now. This is because gingers normally have aggression problems. Just like their hair colour, they are feisty little critters and can easily bite your head off and suck out your brain. Many of them have been diagnosed with bipolar- like Nicole Kidman and cannot be trusted if you find yourself being alone with them in a dark corner. Like a bomb, their temper can explode at any given moment. So refrain from talking to them all together.


It is believed that Wrangers communicate via telepathic communication, this is how they plan attacks on the world, and still keep it in secret. This is probably the main reason they are so feared- no one will ever know how or why, because it’s all in their heads. It is suggested that Wrangers are the actual cause of race or cultural feuds around the world that have been going on for centuries. The Nazi revolution, where the Jews were attacked, the Iran vs. USA war- where Pakistanians are being shot, Vietnam even- poor Asians! Apartheid, Xenophobia, Scotland vs. England, France vs. everyone! All instigated by the Ginger, whose sly and tactical ways will never be exposed. Open up your eyes people! Don’t be blinded by the carroty shine! Don’t pretend you don’t see them, don’t pretend you cant identify them, don’t pretend they are your friends! I have warned you and informed you- it is up to you to take this valuable information and make yourself responsible in ensuring a Wranger free world!