A Mad Hatters Tea Party: A Girl's Gotta Do What A Girl's Gotta Do...

ALICE:

The sweet poppet who felt confined in this world of politics, arranged marriages and lady like behaviour decided to follow a little white rabbit with a waist coat and accidentally fell down a hole! Well, what people don’t know about Alice is that she is a horny little fuck! And falling into that hole has done nothing but set her free in the land of dreams, where she can gallivant around butt-naked, tits out and hormones racing! Now, in this Wonderland of vodka flowing rivers that glisten like disco balls and topsy-turvey flowers that enchant you with their smiles, this blonde bomb shell is out to play, and play she will! Although she has the tendency to be horribly vulgar and quite sultry at the same time- she’s a load of fun and will probably get your blood pumping, in all the right places!

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS:

The Queen of Hearts is a bitch. Her title most ironic. The Queen has anything but a heart (nor a brain for that matter). In its place lies a chamber full of hate and anger, pumping rage through her every being, her body feeding off other peoples misery and misfortunes. The Queen of Hearts, unable to see others pain through her own vanity, has no remorse or guilt. She is brutally honest and delivers it as it is. No matter how grotesque or unwanted the news might be. Through all of this, however, the Queen has an attractiveness about her. Like a spell it draws you in. Even with her arrogance, vulgarity, and plain right rudeness, one cannot help but to like her. Slowly you get sucked in and before you know it you too are one of her cards, her minions, laughing at her insults and joining in the name-game. Her hilarious outlook on life and inability to hold back on anything draws you to the dark side in one swift swing of the club

Thursday, May 20

A Girl's Gotta Do What A Girl's Gotta Do...

Now there are some things in my life that I can let slide. Forget about, get over, move on. They become less hot, less funny, and I find myself wondering why the fuck I was ever interested in the first place!? I can look and I can look but no matter how hard I observe this male specimen, the reason is just beyond me.

But sometimes, no matter what, the attraction remains and they make it onto my “To Do” list. For reasons I can’t explain I just can’t let them slide. I do not have any romantic feelings towards them anymore or any of that nauseating crap, there is just a curiosity of what would it be like the 2 of us in the sack. Would we gel? Would I orgasm? Would it be an awesome no-strings-attached-yet-there-is-a-bit-of-a-history fuck?

I mean the list is just fool proof! It’s a 100% guarantee of a good time. It’s brilliant really. It’s better than the normal one-night-stand (and they are pretty good too) because you have actually thought about this, fantasised over it even. It doesn’t come as a surprise when you wake up in the morning after a big night out; surrounded by the lingering smell of sweat, cigarettes, and sex, cum stains on your bed, and your vag feeling a bit raw. You had this planned! And now you can pat your self on the back, count your victory, swim in the sensation of accomplishment, and cross him off the list!

My “To Do” list I take very seriously, and it is definitely not something that I rush. Once the “chosen person” is on this list he is there for life, and in the end, we WILL do the nasty. It’s not a long list, only a select few, but so far it’s been great fun. It really puts ones priorities in order.

I highly suggest you make a “To Do” list. Just think about how once the deed is done, the sense of accomplishment that you will feel!? It’s phenomenal. But there needs to be a limit – certain criteria need to be met, other wise you will find every friend’s ex-boyfriend, old best friend, boss, and friend’s brother on there. It will become a list longer than Hugh Heffner’s and that is quite a feat. You don’t want to be disappointed at the end of your days when your list is only half complete. You want to be ecstatic - dying with a smile on your face because you know that you fucked the shit out of every lucky guy that wandered onto the list!

Alice xxx