An Experts Advice

Dr Phil is a fucking idiot. I can’t believe that eight years down the line he still airs; everyday. I mean do people actually watch that shit? When we are living in a world of magnificent technological creations like DSTV with its FOUR HUNDRED (jokes! It's actually 190. I counted) channels of non-stop entertainment and magic, why would you tune in to channel 132, SABC 2? You are asking for a total mind fuck, and not in a good way.

The reason for this outburst is because while procrastinating the other day, I found my brother watching this crap. The topic of the day – How to control your kids in certain situations. Well this was Doctor Phil’s advice on a few of the ‘stories’.

 

“Doctor Phil, my child is 7 years old and is completely obsessed with the way that she looks. She has a list of rules (i.e. no sweatshirts, no leggings, no stripes, no pleats, no zips, no mismatched colours, no creases, and so it goes on and on and on...). It takes her 2 hours to get ready for school – 50 minutes for choosing an outfit, 40 minutes for her hair, and 30 minutes for everything else. Please help me. It is not normal for a child of 7 to care so much about what she looks like.”

Now lady, I completely agree. There is a big problem here and one that will probably lead to Anorexia and death. When I was 7 I was still climbing trees, riding bikes, and thought that I was a boy. But no, not according to Doctor Phil, this was his advice:

"There is no problem here. All girls care about what they look like and what image they are portraying. Your daughter, like everyone else’s, has found her niche and so she dresses accordingly. She is trying to give off the image that suits her. No problem."

Well thanks doctor Phil, that sounds just about perfect. Good advice.

Next!

“Doctor Phil, the other day I got a call from school because my son, of 5 years old, had instigated a little cahoot during class. He got 5 boys to line up, and said that he would show them his if they showed him theirs. Is my child normal? Is he possibly homosexual? How do I control this situation?"

Doctor Phil –

"This is normal. It is just a case of curiosity, not sexuality. However, it is mildly inappropriate to condone this behaviour in the classroom, rather do it in the controlled environment of a home."

Jeepers’ creepers. The woman is soon going to be convicted of encouraging child pornography, and soon enough she will be running a full-on male brothel.

I have personally sworn never to watch that show again, and definitely not to EVER, EVER take Doctor Phil’s advice. From now on he will be referred to as Mr Phil; he doesn’t deserve the title Doctor. He’s a fucking idiot.


             Alice xxx